but what I am seeing in the future and what I think will be the future of men’s work is a modality that incorporates all of these different ways of expanding a man’s capacity one that takes him into the depth of his childhood wounds and patterning one that trains his body and nervous system for presence and sharpness and awareness and one that uh takes him through an initiation meant to move him from Boyhood to manhood welcome back to the embodied relationship Experience Podcast my name is John weinland I’ll be your host today but before we continue if you are watching this on YouTube please uh smash the like button uh subscribe leave a comment if you like let what do you think about the episode that really helps us get the uh content out to more people if you’re listening on Apple podcast please leave us a review let us know what you think same thing with SP ify I wanted to do a specific segment on men’s work which as many of you know is near and dear to my heart I in some way or another have been participating in men’s groups for over 25 years everything from 12-step men’s groups to mythopoetic men’s groups to David data style men’s groups to uh all kinds of a mish mash of men’s groups you know at this point in my life I’m in you know three different men’s groups myself self and you know men’s work over the course of the last 30 years in particular has become uh quite well known you know for for many years it just sort of lived in the shadows and the these weirdos who played drums in the forest were uh you know thought about as you know guys doing men’s work but nowadays uh you can throw a rock and hit somebody who is a men’s group leader or a men’s teacher and what I wanted to do was to take a look at not only a little bit of a history of men’s work but also the modalities that are being um shared how I see these things integrating what I consider to be the future of men’s work what I consider to be the best kind of men’s work uh yes I do believe there is uh you know the best kind of men’s work and then talk about you know what I see as the future uh for men and if men want to jump into these um groups and programs around uh deepening themselves expanding their capacity you know becoming more available in the world that they have a sense of you know what to do and where to go if you’re inspired to get into some practices around this the embodied relationship experience platform that we have the link is below has a ton of men’s practices lots of breath work lots of meditation work some movement work um lots of work on how to express deep pain and Deep Emotions so that’s a great place for a man to start so I think the place to start is how we would Define uh men’s work and this is of course my definition other teachers may have different definitions but I think that men’s work is a set of practices and processes and modalities that expand a man’s capacity to be available to himself to the world uh to is romantic and intimate relationships and this uh set of work um allows men to literally just become more available to the world and to themselves now almost every modality of men’s work has some set of practices uh in something like mankind project it’s the shadow carpet practice which takes a man into you know a childhood wound Works through Shadow uh you know in a container held by other men and uh it’s one of the processes that I think is very powerful there are other processes and practices which actually allow men to get more deeply inhabited in their bodies help them ground help them get still help them find the core of themselves help them um be able to uh stay in a moment more fully help them stay with their own emotions more fully help them stay with the emotions of others more fully and so these practices are really meant me to expand uh nervous system capacity both in the ways of expression but also in the ways of witnessing and holding space the best men’s work will train men to both be in a full space of Stillness and uh Consciousness but will also teach them how to be aware of and be able to express their own emotions sens ations desires Etc so the best work you know to use the framework that I like to use the best work uh that I see men do these days and it is you know it is sort of rare to find a modality that does both of these the way that I like to have it done which is to spend as much time working on a man’s masculine capacity as it is for working on a man’s feminine capacity so when we separate these things a man’s masculine capacity is the capacity to be witness to to be a grounded conscious um SPH holder of right so the masculine set of practices is one that is going to uh quiet a man’s nervous system deepen a man’s nervous system deepen his capacity to be in the Infinite Space of Consciousness but it’s also going to teach them the feminine aspects of being able to express fully to be able to express desires fully to be able to express emotions fully to be become more sensitive to the environment that you’re in to have a full body sensitivity that um allows a man to navigate a moment and to sense what is needed in a moment so really good men’s work as I see it has both a masculine aspect around Consciousness Stillness grounded depth and a feminine aspect around expression intuition uh sensitivity and the like all right so what are some of the benefits that I’ve seen over the course of you know 20 plus years of teaching uh men’s work uh the first is that uh a man develops a sense a capacity to actually hold both himself and others more fully he develops a nervous system capacity to be in Conflict to stay with conflict without closing or without uh bolting uh he learns the capacity to to be present you know presence is one of the you know great attributes of uh men’s work um he learns to ground himself and ground others with his practice with his breath with his body and you know he also develops this incredible sense of Brotherhood one of the things that I’ve seen in the men’s groups that I’ve been leading for years is this sense of nourishment that happens when men come together to do deep work it’s really hard to recreate it’s not the same kind of thing as going to a game with a few buddies or you know going to a bar and having a couple drinks it’s about how uh deep can we go together and when men do that similar to you know going into battle together there is something that gets forged there is a Brotherhood and a nourishment that gets forged and enjoyed that you don’t find many other places in the world right that is usually the result of a very deep practice a very deep process um a very deep um exploration that a man is doing while being witnessed with other men and men who do this together Forge an incredibly deep bond uh because they’ve shown each other the deepest parts of themselves both the most noble and uh loving and kingly parts of themselves and also the shadowy gremlin um scared little boys right and so the capacity to be uh witnessed in that the capacity to witness others in that creates an incredible Bond of Brotherhood that I see nourish men again and again and one of the things that I’ve Loved about the programs that I’ve LED is that these men develop these relationships and end up taking them Way Beyond you know the time they spend in my program the year to five years that they spend doing my work they’ll start their own men’s groups they’ll create lifelong friendships and I think that is one of the things that is missing in so many men so many men are feel alienated uh feel like they don’t have a sense of belonging feel like they don’t necessarily have a direction in their life or a set of principles and practices that can help them be happy right and not just happy because happiness is certainly not the goal of men’s work it’s more about fullness right to be able to uh participate in in the fullness of Life both the highest highs the Ecstasy the Bliss the desire but also to stay present and available in the lowest lows of grief anguish pain and loss um not to mention the you know the darker attributes of anger and violence that exist in basically all men to some degree or another another benefit of men’s work that I see is that their capacity to be in romantic relating including sexual relating uh gets expanded right when a man’s nervous system and capacity to operate from depth uh gets lit up it shows up in every aspect of his life including his sex life so you know guys who are doing um deep Men’s Work tend to come online in a different way as lovers and so you know that is a a benefit that I think you know all men would like to strive for they’re better equipped to navigate romantic relationships their capacity to both be with another’s upset uh to speak a clear truth to understand the Dynamics of the masculine feminine dance uh get expanded their capacity to be non-reactive gets expanded and so they’re able to navigate their romantic relationships much more powerfully and with a much deeper sense of agency their capacity for presence increases right so good men’s work will allow men to be present with each other and sharpen each other’s Consciousness and sharpen each other’s presence to the point that they build that muscle that they can stay in presence in an embodied sense of presence with other men with their romantic partners with their children with the world men’s work also teaches men to get out of their heads and start to live in the embodied wisdom of their body right so many one of the byproducts of the industrial and now technological ages is that men are spending much more of their time you know thinking much more of their time literally in their heads consuming information um you know processing all of these stimuli and they’ve lost over the last of the last couple hundred years uh an embodied relationship not only with themselves but with nature so good Men’s Work takes men into a better relationship with their bodies where they can actually live more from here to here than from here to here and the benefits of that are um just a deeper sense of trust uh women will trust you more um uh the world will trust you more right there’s a certain set of an there’s a there’s a an anxiety that comes from a man who’s thinking all the time there’s an anxiety that’s transmitted from a man who’s constantly strategizing as to how he wants to navigate the world and on the flip side there is a sense of calmness that comes from a man who’s learned to live you know from the naval down from the heart to the genitals and those capacities are I want to say subtle but powerful right to be more trustable um is I guess the way that I would Define it right a man becomes more trustable when he does deep work with other men and a final benefit that I see from Men’s work is that a man’s relationship to death gets sharpened right if if he’s doing deep men’s work then at some point he is looking at his death and he is looking at what he needs to do so that he can die complete and when a man does that it tends to sharpen um the direction of his life not only on a day-to-day basis but also uh on longterm term uh basis as well right so if I know that my life if I know that death is coming and I’ve created a relationship with it that’s not just you know absolute denial then I’m able to focus and I’m able to uh really direct my life to what is most important so of course men’s work is not a uh modern phenomena right men have been Gathering Together around Fires for Millennia uh for probably over aund th000 years men have been gathering around fires to decompress to um slow things down to reset from either hunting or battles um and so men’s work has been part of the fabric of humanity since the beginning of time what has happened in the last you know few hundred years you know really starting with the Industrial Revolution is that men were taken out of the um AG Ian societies and the wisdom cultures that they lived in with the land and they were brought into an industrial age where they were working with machinery and then they were working with um computers right they were working in business right and and so the the connection that they had to the land was severed and what that did was it took a very important piece of daily living out of a man’s life life and so what has happened in the last let’s call it 50 years is that there’s been a Resurgence of uh men’s work and men’s practices that are meant to uh take men back into their bodies to take men back into nature to take men back into deep practice so that they can sort of um repair that imbalance that has happened over the last 150 years and you know so in the recent history there’s been a few really important men’s movements the the biggest one would would be called the mythopoetic movement and that was started by Robert blae and other men who who started what was known and is still known as the mankind project and they would use uh mythopoetic U metaphor and analogy Robert BL wrote The Great Book iron John and in that it talks about a man’s journey of separating from his mother of finding his Wildman um you know of reclaiming his sovereignty and power and so the mythopoetic um movement was was really about helping men regain that connection to the um to the essence of what it’s like to be a man um in nature and um and with the feminine the mythopoetic movement you know gained a lot of ground in the ’90s ‘ 80s and ’90s you know even into the 2000s because it was sort of the only you know Nationwide if not worldwide movement for men and so men would go into these trainings uh they’d need to be stripped of of all of their technology they’d go into this training where they would have to meet their Shadow and be with a group of other men for you know for two and a half or three days and in that meeting of their Shadow they were taken through a sort of initiation sort of a death practice and in that practice practice they came out you know reborn and then the mythopoetic groups would would have integration groups that uh men could join in their communities and continue to do the work and the processes around the mid 1990s if not a little bit earlier a different kind of men’s work started to emerge and it was led by one of my teachers David data he wrote a book called The Way of the superior man and his approach to men’s practice was much more yogic and meditative so rather than you know going into therapeutic processes um or you know more sort of uh relational processes or Shadow work processes uh data’s approach was that the masculine itself is consciousness and there are set of practices and um everything from breath work to you know to eye gazing to working with other men in sharpening consciousness and it was really about developing a man’s capacity to embody Consciousness to become presence and part of what David was teaching was that there is a yoga capacity where you can touch your masculine as a practice and you can expand your uh masculine capacity through uh breath work through stilling the Mind through uh activating the body but this was much more yogic and and less process oriented and this yogic capacity became incredibly important with regards to men’s relationship to the feminine uh their sexual relationship to the feminine their um emotional relationship to the feminine and so a bunch of groups started to uh pop up in the mid90s and early 2000s especially that were uh rooted in David data’s uh uh seminal work the way of the superior man and these David data style men’s groups started to pop up that’s you know sort of where I you know went deep into the rabbit hole with my own men’s practice was you know I started to lead these groups in 2009 and so these groups would have a set of practices that were meant to sharpen a man’s Consciousness that were meant to deepen a man’s capacity to rest in Consciousness and Were Meant to um give a man a uh a circle of feedback that would sharpen him and help him lean into an edge that he was meeting somewhere in his life that edge might be anything from you know speaking your truth to your feminine partner to uh you know to asking for more money at work to leaning into a certain emotion that had been denied to um holding a certain pose of presence that uh that had never been cultivated and so one of the great uh aspects and Gifts of data’s men’s work was that it centered around uh leading a man into an edge and that the masculine David claimed uh was expanded and elevated through challenge right the feminine is expanded and elevated through praise and through being witnessed and seen But the masculine in all of us and all of us right not just men is um grows through Challenge and so the data men’s Works were really focused on edge hunting and how you can take a man into an edge and hold him at an edge and in that way expand his capacity right so you you’ve had these mythopoetic movements that were happening in the 80s and 90s that were meant to take a man you know into his you know the pain of being separated from mother the pain of being raised by you know um non-perfect parents uh the pain of of uh separation from nature and from self and then data came along a little bit a few years later and started to add to that okay now that’s great but now we need to teach men how to drop into their masculine and his groups became incredibly popular the way of the superior man is still the bestselling men’s uh Men’s Work book of all time and uh and now you have these yogic and meditative practices that are meant to deepen a man capacity along with these therapeutic uh processes and Shadow processes that are meant to you know to help clear a man’s pain you could say the mythopoetic work was as much therapeutic right as the David data work was as much yogic and meditative and and so what you had are these two really beautiful um opportunities to cultivate your capacity as a man over the last few years in particular there’s been a Resurgence of initiatory and ritualistic practices of manhood um if you go back to the wisdom cultures of the Americas or basically any wisdom cultures uh you know throughout time uh young men were taken through initiations and the modern man has really not had that experience the same kind of initiatory practices that took a man from a boy into manhood um don’t exist or didn’t exist and so in the in the in the last few years you’ve seen men’s work um arise again that is um you know borrowing some of these initiatory practices uh and and taking men through these initiations these trials that help them you know kind of shed the boy and show up as the man and these initiatory practices are very much around facing death so for example the best example of this is a Vision Quest where a man fasts and goes into the desert or into the mountains by himself you know held by a group and you know goes there and waits for a vision part of this Vision work is to help him face himself in uh aloneness right to face himself and create a a relationship with the Divine you know in this uh very stressful experience of being alone without food um in the desert for a period of time and you know one of the things that the Vision Quest helps a man do is to cry out for a vision right that part of becoming a man in the world is to move from being you know a boy who’s being taken care of to becoming a man who is creating something for the world now this is something the data also uh stressed right which is that a man has to find his deepest purpose that a man has to um part of becoming a man part of deepening in your masculine let’s say is to get very clear on what your deepest purpose is and then to go about creating that in the world so in these ritualistic uh men’s movements that have sort of cropped over up over the last 10 years you’ve got men going into ritualistic practices you could say shamanic practices to face death to kind of I don’t want to say kill the boy but you know move past Boyhood into manhood by cha by facing deep challenge you know great example of this in in the Indigenous world in the first world cultures here in the Americas is the Sundance right where uh where a young man would be a young Warrior would be strapped to a tree with a you know with a sharp pole put through his pecs and he was meant to either hang from that tree until until the pole snapped through his pecs and you know there’s a bunch of fasting and dancing and um sweating going on in this you know in this initiation as well but what you’ve seen now are that um men are trying to recreate not that they’re trying to recreate the Sundance hopefully they won’t but that they are trying to recreate initiatory practices so you’ve got these ritualistic practices you’ve got these yogic practices you’ve got these therapeutic practices and these are all now we’re at a point in time where really good men’s work is is starting to weave these things together another beautiful initiatory practice is is uh Moral Combat right so taking men into a space where they have to face an opponent and face their fears right in front of other men right there are groups that will take men into these sort of Moral Combat scenarios and that’s a way for a man to challenge his fears to challenge himself to stay in right relationship with aggression and battle and that has also become part of the ritualistic or initiatory practices that have emerged in the last few years as of yet these different approaches to Men’s Work have have stayed separate right uh you can either get into the mankind project or you can get into a David data style men’s work or you can get into uh you know some kind of initiatory or ritualistic practice uh let’s call it you know more shamanic men’s work or more Vision Quest kind of men’s work but what I am seeing in the future and what I think will be the future of men’s work is a modality that incorporates all of these different ways of expanding a man’s capacity one that takes him into the depth of his childhood wounds and patterning one that trains his body and nervous system for presence and sharpness and awareness and one that uh takes him through an initiation meant to move him from Boyhood to manhood now there’s much more aspects to it and I’m going to go into what I believe uh you know would make a future Men’s Work path uh most helpful and most expansive for men this is obviously something that I’m very passionate about I mean I spend my life you know working with men I run a men’s program every year and you know what I’ve been trying to do is to pull what I believe to be the best aspects um of all of this work into a men’s program that I think um allows for men to grow in all of these various areas so what do I see as the future of men’s work quite frankly what I see is an integration of all of these things that I have been talking about right and the capacity for a man to deeply tap into his m masculine aspect his capacity for Consciousness Stillness depth groundedness his ability to be with experience um cleanly and fully that is a different set of practices than those that are about him expressing expressing his desires expressing his pain expressing his you know emotions expressing his deep grief right these are two different aspects of men’s work you could say that the men’s work that teaches men about expression and about you know emotional clearing and about sensation and desire is teaching a man to expand his feminine capacity because as I’ve said before experience anything that is experience of energy whether it’s moving emotions whether it’s experiencing desire right that is uh working on a man’s capacity to be in his feminine right his emotions are the feminine his desires are the feminine his pain is his feminine and so a man’s feminine body has been um activated by these practices by being able to you know everything from a primal scream to uh embodying his you know deepest sexual desire to um you know to expressing himself as energy right so any men’s work that takes men into that aspect of being is working a man’s feminine and that is beautiful and that is great but what will often happen is that men will stop there and they think it’s men’s work being a warrior and pounding on your chest is not men’s work that is actually a man in his feminine when a man gets aggressive his estrogen levels Spike up right when a man is expressing his aggression right right that is him expressing the feminine right a man who is in Stillness a man who is in the expansive um field of awareness and Consciousness is in his masculine and so just working on expression right sensation and expression and uh sensitivity although it’s beautiful and I think every man needs to do that it is not the totality of what I believe good men’s work is good men’s work is going to have both a man’s capacity to be still a man’s capacity to face an edge a man’s capacity to face death a man’s capacity to be sharp and sharpen in Consciousness these are all aspects of cultivating our masculine and they are just as important uh as the um aspects of being able to express our pain to be able to feel fully to be able to be sensitive to everybody around us both of these things need to happen at the same time and you know for those of you whove read my book I go into this in depth right that the the the the the best practice the deepest men’s work is about the integration of these two things the integration of awareness of Consciousness and energy the integration of awareness and emotion the integration of awareness and sexual desire right and so when we are able to expand our capacity for awareness for Consciousness for Stillness for depth for groundedness and we’re able to feel and express more we have become more available in an integrated way for the world so just as you know working a man’s feminine as part of good men’s work uh isn’t enough just working his masculine isn’t enough right you can train a man to be uh meditative and still you can train a man to rest in Consciousness you can train a man to um sharpen other men and be super clear in his Direction and his purpose and uh you know in in terms of what he’s saying right you can train a man to to be to to work his masculine to expand his masculine but that’s not enough right as human beings we have both a feminine aspect and a masculine aspect and good Men’s Work needs both good Men’s Work needs to accentuate and train a man in both and so the way I see this happening and the way it happens in the work that I do is that we will take men through deep emotional processes deep expressive processes deep feeling processes right we’re we’re literally taking them through what I would call feminine practices right any practice of expression of feeling of movement is a feminine practice right teaching them to express certain sexual textures teaching them to um even express their Warrior teaching them to um feel the uh magician in them and the way that the magician feels the world all of these things are actually feminine practices in my book and they’re beautiful and they’re they need separate attention and then working with a man’s capacity to be still for 30 minutes and look into another man’s eyes and stay sharp as Consciousness or to train a man to uh to sit in Stillness and receive from nature receive from from her be witness to her to train a man to be able to hold space as Consciousness right to be able to train a man to consistent bring his awareness to his Edge right and then and then take direction from there that is also a set of practices that needs to be done so that a man can be full in both both aspects of his masculine and feminine if we don’t simultaneously train a man to deepen in his masculine while he’s learning to be more expressive more sensitive uh more sort of emotionally available what will often happen is that he will drift into that and consider it masculinity it’s not it’s it it it’s basically giving a man access to his feminine side right without the grounded awareness that can hold it and I think that’s the key point right you need both the capacity to express and the capacity to hold to hold yourself to hold others and these are both nervous system train ings that good men’s work will include so what happens to a man when he integrates these parts of himself right he’s able to move and express from a deeper space within he’s able to move and express and feel feel the moment feel himself feel others from a deeper still place so rather than just be reactive to what’s happening in the moment he has a a grounded Infinite Source let’s call it to move from so he will move through the world from a place of depth and from a place of expanded conscious awareness that makes him like I said earlier more trustable right he is not just stoically present he’s able to move from that stoic presence into full expression and he’s able to do so while holding himself so the way that this works in a practice I’ll give you an example of this take it out of the esoteric and into the you know practical right so a way this might work let’s say you are let’s say you’re a man and you’re in a you know a little bit of conflict with your feminine partner right so what will often happen to men is that they will drift into the sensations that are happening in that conflict I’m I’m I’m angry I’m ashamed I’m scared uh you know I’m reactive right and and we will men will drift into that feminine aspect of themselves and lose ground right I’m guilty of it we’re all guilty of it it’s a lifelong practice right but what good Men’s Work trains you to do is to have those feelings to have those Sensations to be fully aware of those Sensations but to be Tethered to consciousness in that moment right and so when a man can do that rather than being reactive right and just having a knee-jerk reaction to criticism let’s say or to a complaint let’s say they are moving from a deeper place and so their responses are going to be different their capacity to listen is going to be different their capacity to to be aware of what’s going on in their partner is going to be different right their capacity to be aware of what’s going on in themselves to witness themselves in the moment and to witness another in the moment is going to be different and so this ability to stay connected to the infinite and unchanging source of Consciousness Within Me While there is chaos going around is the Pinnacle of masculine practice right so the best men’s work teaches men to do both teaches men to stay in this wide expanse of consciousness tethered right tethered and grounded while feeling everything to be able to rest in this Cosmos of Consciousness within all of us while feeling everything is the byproduct of great men’s work and it will change your life it will change the way you look at the world it will change the way you look at yourself it will change the way you relate to your romantic partner it will change how deep you can go sexually it will change literally your whole nervous system orientation to be able to be with life to be with you know life herself and never lose your Center never lose your um capacity to stay tethered in a moment and what will happen in those moments is you will be able to feel what’s going on but you’ll be Tethered to a source of wisdom that is consciousness and that source of wisdom will be a better director for you than your habitual childhood programming or reactivity and so the the great benefit of good men’s work is the capacity to tap into a source of wisdom that is immovable and unchangeable no matter what’s happening around you so here’s what I see happening uh in the men’s work space that I think will be really beneficial uh Men’s Work Program s are going to start to come up that that can take men through an initiatory process that can take men into deep therapeutic processes of clearing pain and anger from the body and they can also train men to develop that yogic and meditative capacity for embodied presence and Stillness and when those three things are you know in a good program when men will uh expand men will grow men will find parts of themselves that they probably never met that’s often something I see in my men’s programs is is that men will find parts of themselves that they had never met or they thought were long dead and so our capacity to train ourselves to continually lean into ego death to continually lean into um the fear of failing to continually lean into the edges of our life while staying tethered and present as consciousness and while feeling everything that is the end game of good men’s work so if you’re a man watching this and you want to get more deeply into men’s work you can you know basically just Google men’s work and you’ll see a lot of programs I do a program every year there are a number of other uh teachers that do men’s work every year so uh there are a number of places where you can find you know there’s a a dozen good teachers in the US and Europe that I think and good programs that I think take men through a a a really um beautiful swath of this but what I see happening more and more is that um men often confuse Warrior up and Primal screaming for actually doing the work that expands their masculine capacity and so as you search for these programs make sure that you’re getting all three of these elements that I that I talked about or if you’re not you might have to supplement it with another program but there absolutely needs to be some kind of Challenge and initiation in your life some kind of Challenge and initiation that you do there needs to be practice that that puts you in control of your own nervous system and there has to be a practice that expands Your Capacity to feel and express yourself fully if you’re inspired to get into some practices around this the embodied relationship experience platform that we have the link is below has a ton of men’s practices lots of breath work lots of meditation work some movement work um lots of work on how to express deep pain and Deep Emotions so that’s a great place for a man to start I’d also recommend some some books David’s the way the superior man is you fantastic start Robert blly um Iron John is a fantastic start I wrote a book called from the core that sort of incorporates a lot of the things that we’ve been talking about on this podcast there are a lot of good uh uh Men’s Work books and I think it’s important that if you get into it that you really understand the nature of what makes a um let’s consider this wholeness right so good men’s work should create wholeness in a man and that is not just the masculine it’s not just his feminine it’s a beautiful integration of both of those capacities so I hope this is giving you a uh a good intro into the different modalities of men’s work what they do for you what they can do for you what they should do for you in my opinion and uh and I hope that you know on your journey if you are a man watching this I hope that this helps to Spur you you know into a journey of seeking Brotherhood and seeking depth with other men because um men need it right men need other men who have done the work and are doing the work before them to be lighthouses to be beacons it’s no it’s no mystery that men are suffering so there is a way out I’ve seen it now for 20 some odd years there is a way out for men to find a place where they belong where they can find a place where they can be fully expressed where they find a place where they can be um challenged with love and where they find a place where they can uh drop into the deepest uh parts of themselves to their cores if you will but before we continue if you are watching this on YouTube please uh SM smash the like button uh subscribe leave a comment if you like let what do you think about the episode that really helps us get the uh content out to more people if you’re listening on Apple podcast please leave us a review let us know what you think same thing with Spotify so I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode and we’ll see you next time on the embodied relationship experience but what I am seeing in the future and what I think will be the future of men’s work is a modality that incorporates all of these different ways of expanding a man’s capacity one that takes him into the depth of his childhood wounds and patterning one that trains his body and nervous system for presence and sharpness and awareness and one that uh takes him through an initiation meant to move him from Boyhood to manhood welcome back to the embodied relationship Experience Podcast my name is John weinland I’ll be your host today but before we continue if you are watching this on YouTube please uh smash the like button uh subscribe leave a comment if you like let what do you think about the episode that really helps us get the uh content out to more people if you’re listening on Apple podcast please leave us a review let us know what you think same thing with SP ify I wanted to do a specific segment on men’s work which as many of you know is near and dear to my heart I in some way or another have been participating in men’s groups for over 25 years everything from 12-step men’s groups to mythopoetic men’s groups to David data style men’s groups to uh all kinds of a mish mash of men’s groups you know at this point in my life I’m in you know three different men’s groups myself self and you know men’s work over the course of the last 30 years in particular has become uh quite well known you know for for many years it just sort of lived in the shadows and the these weirdos who played drums in the forest were uh you know thought about as you know guys doing men’s work but nowadays uh you can throw a rock and hit somebody who is a men’s group leader or a men’s teacher and what I wanted to do was to take a look at not only a little bit of a history of men’s work but also the modalities that are being um shared how I see these things integrating what I consider to be the future of men’s work what I consider to be the best kind of men’s work uh yes I do believe there is uh you know the best kind of men’s work and then talk about you know what I see as the future uh for men and if men want to jump into these um groups and programs around uh deepening themselves expanding their capacity you know becoming more available in the world that they have a sense of you know what to do and where to go if you’re inspired to get into some practices around this the embodied relationship experience platform that we have the link is below has a ton of men’s practices lots of breath work lots of meditation work some movement work um lots of work on how to express deep pain and Deep Emotions so that’s a great place for a man to start so I think the place to start is how we would Define uh men’s work and this is of course my definition other teachers may have different definitions but I think that men’s work is a set of practices and processes and modalities that expand a man’s capacity to be available to himself to the world uh to is romantic and intimate relationships and this uh set of work um allows men to literally just become more available to the world and to themselves now almost every modality of men’s work has some set of practices uh in something like mankind project it’s the shadow carpet practice which takes a man into you know a childhood wound Works through Shadow uh you know in a container held by other men and uh it’s one of the processes that I think is very powerful there are other processes and practices which actually allow men to get more deeply inhabited in their bodies help them ground help them get still help them find the core of themselves help them um be able to uh stay in a moment more fully help them stay with their own emotions more fully help them stay with the emotions of others more fully and so these practices are really meant me to expand uh nervous system capacity both in the ways of expression but also in the ways of witnessing and holding space the best men’s work will train men to both be in a full space of Stillness and uh Consciousness but will also teach them how to be aware of and be able to express their own emotions sens ations desires Etc so the best work you know to use the framework that I like to use the best work uh that I see men do these days and it is you know it is sort of rare to find a modality that does both of these the way that I like to have it done which is to spend as much time working on a man’s masculine capacity as it is for working on a man’s feminine capacity so when we separate these things a man’s masculine capacity is the capacity to be witness to to be a grounded conscious um SPH holder of right so the masculine set of practices is one that is going to uh quiet a man’s nervous system deepen a man’s nervous system deepen his capacity to be in the Infinite Space of Consciousness but it’s also going to teach them the feminine aspects of being able to express fully to be able to express desires fully to be able to express emotions fully to be become more sensitive to the environment that you’re in to have a full body sensitivity that um allows a man to navigate a moment and to sense what is needed in a moment so really good men’s work as I see it has both a masculine aspect around Consciousness Stillness grounded depth and a feminine aspect around expression intuition uh sensitivity and the like all right so what are some of the benefits that I’ve seen over the course of you know 20 plus years of teaching uh men’s work uh the first is that uh a man develops a sense a capacity to actually hold both himself and others more fully he develops a nervous system capacity to be in Conflict to stay with conflict without closing or without uh bolting uh he learns the capacity to to be present you know presence is one of the you know great attributes of uh men’s work um he learns to ground himself and ground others with his practice with his breath with his body and you know he also develops this incredible sense of Brotherhood one of the things that I’ve seen in the men’s groups that I’ve been leading for years is this sense of nourishment that happens when men come together to do deep work it’s really hard to recreate it’s not the same kind of thing as going to a game with a few buddies or you know going to a bar and having a couple drinks it’s about how uh deep can we go together and when men do that similar to you know going into battle together there is something that gets forged there is a Brotherhood and a nourishment that gets forged and enjoyed that you don’t find many other places in the world right that is usually the result of a very deep practice a very deep process um a very deep um exploration that a man is doing while being witnessed with other men and men who do this together Forge an incredibly deep bond uh because they’ve shown each other the deepest parts of themselves both the most noble and uh loving and kingly parts of themselves and also the shadowy gremlin um scared little boys right and so the capacity to be uh witnessed in that the capacity to witness others in that creates an incredible Bond of Brotherhood that I see nourish men again and again and one of the things that I’ve Loved about the programs that I’ve LED is that these men develop these relationships and end up taking them Way Beyond you know the time they spend in my program the year to five years that they spend doing my work they’ll start their own men’s groups they’ll create lifelong friendships and I think that is one of the things that is missing in so many men so many men are feel alienated uh feel like they don’t have a sense of belonging feel like they don’t necessarily have a direction in their life or a set of principles and practices that can help them be happy right and not just happy because happiness is certainly not the goal of men’s work it’s more about fullness right to be able to uh participate in in the fullness of Life both the highest highs the Ecstasy the Bliss the desire but also to stay present and available in the lowest lows of grief anguish pain and loss um not to mention the you know the darker attributes of anger and violence that exist in basically all men to some degree or another another benefit of men’s work that I see is that their capacity to be in romantic relating including sexual relating uh gets expanded right when a man’s nervous system and capacity to operate from depth uh gets lit up it shows up in every aspect of his life including his sex life so you know guys who are doing um deep Men’s Work tend to come online in a different way as lovers and so you know that is a a benefit that I think you know all men would like to strive for they’re better equipped to navigate romantic relationships their capacity to both be with another’s upset uh to speak a clear truth to understand the Dynamics of the masculine feminine dance uh get expanded their capacity to be non-reactive gets expanded and so they’re able to navigate their romantic relationships much more powerfully and with a much deeper sense of agency their capacity for presence increases right so good men’s work will allow men to be present with each other and sharpen each other’s Consciousness and sharpen each other’s presence to the point that they build that muscle that they can stay in presence in an embodied sense of presence with other men with their romantic partners with their children with the world men’s work also teaches men to get out of their heads and start to live in the embodied wisdom of their body right so many one of the byproducts of the industrial and now technological ages is that men are spending much more of their time you know thinking much more of their time literally in their heads consuming information um you know processing all of these stimuli and they’ve lost over the last of the last couple hundred years uh an embodied relationship not only with themselves but with nature so good Men’s Work takes men into a better relationship with their bodies where they can actually live more from here to here than from here to here and the benefits of that are um just a deeper sense of trust uh women will trust you more um uh the world will trust you more right there’s a certain set of an there’s a there’s a an anxiety that comes from a man who’s thinking all the time there’s an anxiety that’s transmitted from a man who’s constantly strategizing as to how he wants to navigate the world and on the flip side there is a sense of calmness that comes from a man who’s learned to live you know from the naval down from the heart to the genitals and those capacities are I want to say subtle but powerful right to be more trustable um is I guess the way that I would Define it right a man becomes more trustable when he does deep work with other men and a final benefit that I see from Men’s work is that a man’s relationship to death gets sharpened right if if he’s doing deep men’s work then at some point he is looking at his death and he is looking at what he needs to do so that he can die complete and when a man does that it tends to sharpen um the direction of his life not only on a day-to-day basis but also uh on longterm term uh basis as well right so if I know that my life if I know that death is coming and I’ve created a relationship with it that’s not just you know absolute denial then I’m able to focus and I’m able to uh really direct my life to what is most important so of course men’s work is not a uh modern phenomena right men have been Gathering Together around Fires for Millennia uh for probably over aund th000 years men have been gathering around fires to decompress to um slow things down to reset from either hunting or battles um and so men’s work has been part of the fabric of humanity since the beginning of time what has happened in the last you know few hundred years you know really starting with the Industrial Revolution is that men were taken out of the um AG Ian societies and the wisdom cultures that they lived in with the land and they were brought into an industrial age where they were working with machinery and then they were working with um computers right they were working in business right and and so the the connection that they had to the land was severed and what that did was it took a very important piece of daily living out of a man’s life life and so what has happened in the last let’s call it 50 years is that there’s been a Resurgence of uh men’s work and men’s practices that are meant to uh take men back into their bodies to take men back into nature to take men back into deep practice so that they can sort of um repair that imbalance that has happened over the last 150 years and you know so in the recent history there’s been a few really important men’s movements the the biggest one would would be called the mythopoetic movement and that was started by Robert blae and other men who who started what was known and is still known as the mankind project and they would use uh mythopoetic U metaphor and analogy Robert BL wrote The Great Book iron John and in that it talks about a man’s journey of separating from his mother of finding his Wildman um you know of reclaiming his sovereignty and power and so the mythopoetic um movement was was really about helping men regain that connection to the um to the essence of what it’s like to be a man um in nature and um and with the feminine the mythopoetic movement you know gained a lot of ground in the ’90s ‘ 80s and ’90s you know even into the 2000s because it was sort of the only you know Nationwide if not worldwide movement for men and so men would go into these trainings uh they’d need to be stripped of of all of their technology they’d go into this training where they would have to meet their Shadow and be with a group of other men for you know for two and a half or three days and in that meeting of their Shadow they were taken through a sort of initiation sort of a death practice and in that practice practice they came out you know reborn and then the mythopoetic groups would would have integration groups that uh men could join in their communities and continue to do the work and the processes around the mid 1990s if not a little bit earlier a different kind of men’s work started to emerge and it was led by one of my teachers David data he wrote a book called The Way of the superior man and his approach to men’s practice was much more yogic and meditative so rather than you know going into therapeutic processes um or you know more sort of uh relational processes or Shadow work processes uh data’s approach was that the masculine itself is consciousness and there are set of practices and um everything from breath work to you know to eye gazing to working with other men in sharpening consciousness and it was really about developing a man’s capacity to embody Consciousness to become presence and part of what David was teaching was that there is a yoga capacity where you can touch your masculine as a practice and you can expand your uh masculine capacity through uh breath work through stilling the Mind through uh activating the body but this was much more yogic and and less process oriented and this yogic capacity became incredibly important with regards to men’s relationship to the feminine uh their sexual relationship to the feminine their um emotional relationship to the feminine and so a bunch of groups started to uh pop up in the mid90s and early 2000s especially that were uh rooted in David data’s uh uh seminal work the way of the superior man and these David data style men’s groups started to pop up that’s you know sort of where I you know went deep into the rabbit hole with my own men’s practice was you know I started to lead these groups in 2009 and so these groups would have a set of practices that were meant to sharpen a man’s Consciousness that were meant to deepen a man’s capacity to rest in Consciousness and Were Meant to um give a man a uh a circle of feedback that would sharpen him and help him lean into an edge that he was meeting somewhere in his life that edge might be anything from you know speaking your truth to your feminine partner to uh you know to asking for more money at work to leaning into a certain emotion that had been denied to um holding a certain pose of presence that uh that had never been cultivated and so one of the great uh aspects and Gifts of data’s men’s work was that it centered around uh leading a man into an edge and that the masculine David claimed uh was expanded and elevated through challenge right the feminine is expanded and elevated through praise and through being witnessed and seen But the masculine in all of us and all of us right not just men is um grows through Challenge and so the data men’s Works were really focused on edge hunting and how you can take a man into an edge and hold him at an edge and in that way expand his capacity right so you you’ve had these mythopoetic movements that were happening in the 80s and 90s that were meant to take a man you know into his you know the pain of being separated from mother the pain of being raised by you know um non-perfect parents uh the pain of of uh separation from nature and from self and then data came along a little bit a few years later and started to add to that okay now that’s great but now we need to teach men how to drop into their masculine and his groups became incredibly popular the way of the superior man is still the bestselling men’s uh Men’s Work book of all time and uh and now you have these yogic and meditative practices that are meant to deepen a man capacity along with these therapeutic uh processes and Shadow processes that are meant to you know to help clear a man’s pain you could say the mythopoetic work was as much therapeutic right as the David data work was as much yogic and meditative and and so what you had are these two really beautiful um opportunities to cultivate your capacity as a man over the last few years in particular there’s been a Resurgence of initiatory and ritualistic practices of manhood um if you go back to the wisdom cultures of the Americas or basically any wisdom cultures uh you know throughout time uh young men were taken through initiations and the modern man has really not had that experience the same kind of initiatory practices that took a man from a boy into manhood um don’t exist or didn’t exist and so in the in the in the last few years you’ve seen men’s work um arise again that is um you know borrowing some of these initiatory practices uh and and taking men through these initiations these trials that help them you know kind of shed the boy and show up as the man and these initiatory practices are very much around facing death so for example the best example of this is a Vision Quest where a man fasts and goes into the desert or into the mountains by himself you know held by a group and you know goes there and waits for a vision part of this Vision work is to help him face himself in uh aloneness right to face himself and create a a relationship with the Divine you know in this uh very stressful experience of being alone without food um in the desert for a period of time and you know one of the things that the Vision Quest helps a man do is to cry out for a vision right that part of becoming a man in the world is to move from being you know a boy who’s being taken care of to becoming a man who is creating something for the world now this is something the data also uh stressed right which is that a man has to find his deepest purpose that a man has to um part of becoming a man part of deepening in your masculine let’s say is to get very clear on what your deepest purpose is and then to go about creating that in the world so in these ritualistic uh men’s movements that have sort of cropped over up over the last 10 years you’ve got men going into ritualistic practices you could say shamanic practices to face death to kind of I don’t want to say kill the boy but you know move past Boyhood into manhood by cha by facing deep challenge you know great example of this in in the Indigenous world in the first world cultures here in the Americas is the Sundance right where uh where a young man would be a young Warrior would be strapped to a tree with a you know with a sharp pole put through his pecs and he was meant to either hang from that tree until until the pole snapped through his pecs and you know there’s a bunch of fasting and dancing and um sweating going on in this you know in this initiation as well but what you’ve seen now are that um men are trying to recreate not that they’re trying to recreate the Sundance hopefully they won’t but that they are trying to recreate initiatory practices so you’ve got these ritualistic practices you’ve got these yogic practices you’ve got these therapeutic practices and these are all now we’re at a point in time where really good men’s work is is starting to weave these things together another beautiful initiatory practice is is uh Moral Combat right so taking men into a space where they have to face an opponent and face their fears right in front of other men right there are groups that will take men into these sort of Moral Combat scenarios and that’s a way for a man to challenge his fears to challenge himself to stay in right relationship with aggression and battle and that has also become part of the ritualistic or initiatory practices that have emerged in the last few years as of yet these different approaches to Men’s Work have have stayed separate right uh you can either get into the mankind project or you can get into a David data style men’s work or you can get into uh you know some kind of initiatory or ritualistic practice uh let’s call it you know more shamanic men’s work or more Vision Quest kind of men’s work but what I am seeing in the future and what I think will be the future of men’s work is a modality that incorporates all of these different ways of expanding a man’s capacity one that takes him into the depth of his childhood wounds and patterning one that trains his body and nervous system for presence and sharpness and awareness and one that uh takes him through an initiation meant to move him from Boyhood to manhood now there’s much more aspects to it and I’m going to go into what I believe uh you know would make a future Men’s Work path uh most helpful and most expansive for men this is obviously something that I’m very passionate about I mean I spend my life you know working with men I run a men’s program every year and you know what I’ve been trying to do is to pull what I believe to be the best aspects um of all of this work into a men’s program that I think um allows for men to grow in all of these various areas so what do I see as the future of men’s work quite frankly what I see is an integration of all of these things that I have been talking about right and the capacity for a man to deeply tap into his m masculine aspect his capacity for Consciousness Stillness depth groundedness his ability to be with experience um cleanly and fully that is a different set of practices than those that are about him expressing expressing his desires expressing his pain expressing his you know emotions expressing his deep grief right these are two different aspects of men’s work you could say that the men’s work that teaches men about expression and about you know emotional clearing and about sensation and desire is teaching a man to expand his feminine capacity because as I’ve said before experience anything that is experience of energy whether it’s moving emotions whether it’s experiencing desire right that is uh working on a man’s capacity to be in his feminine right his emotions are the feminine his desires are the feminine his pain is his feminine and so a man’s feminine body has been um activated by these practices by being able to you know everything from a primal scream to uh embodying his you know deepest sexual desire to um you know to expressing himself as energy right so any men’s work that takes men into that aspect of being is working a man’s feminine and that is beautiful and that is great but what will often happen is that men will stop there and they think it’s men’s work being a warrior and pounding on your chest is not men’s work that is actually a man in his feminine when a man gets aggressive his estrogen levels Spike up right when a man is expressing his aggression right right that is him expressing the feminine right a man who is in Stillness a man who is in the expansive um field of awareness and Consciousness is in his masculine and so just working on expression right sensation and expression and uh sensitivity although it’s beautiful and I think every man needs to do that it is not the totality of what I believe good men’s work is good men’s work is going to have both a man’s capacity to be still a man’s capacity to face an edge a man’s capacity to face death a man’s capacity to be sharp and sharpen in Consciousness these are all aspects of cultivating our masculine and they are just as important uh as the um aspects of being able to express our pain to be able to feel fully to be able to be sensitive to everybody around us both of these things need to happen at the same time and you know for those of you whove read my book I go into this in depth right that the the the the the best practice the deepest men’s work is about the integration of these two things the integration of awareness of Consciousness and energy the integration of awareness and emotion the integration of awareness and sexual desire right and so when we are able to expand our capacity for awareness for Consciousness for Stillness for depth for groundedness and we’re able to feel and express more we have become more available in an integrated way for the world so just as you know working a man’s feminine as part of good men’s work uh isn’t enough just working his masculine isn’t enough right you can train a man to be uh meditative and still you can train a man to rest in Consciousness you can train a man to um sharpen other men and be super clear in his Direction and his purpose and uh you know in in terms of what he’s saying right you can train a man to to be to to work his masculine to expand his masculine but that’s not enough right as human beings we have both a feminine aspect and a masculine aspect and good Men’s Work needs both good Men’s Work needs to accentuate and train a man in both and so the way I see this happening and the way it happens in the work that I do is that we will take men through deep emotional processes deep expressive processes deep feeling processes right we’re we’re literally taking them through what I would call feminine practices right any practice of expression of feeling of movement is a feminine practice right teaching them to express certain sexual textures teaching them to um even express their Warrior teaching them to um feel the uh magician in them and the way that the magician feels the world all of these things are actually feminine practices in my book and they’re beautiful and they’re they need separate attention and then working with a man’s capacity to be still for 30 minutes and look into another man’s eyes and stay sharp as Consciousness or to train a man to uh to sit in Stillness and receive from nature receive from from her be witness to her to train a man to be able to hold space as Consciousness right to be able to train a man to consistent bring his awareness to his Edge right and then and then take direction from there that is also a set of practices that needs to be done so that a man can be full in both both aspects of his masculine and feminine if we don’t simultaneously train a man to deepen in his masculine while he’s learning to be more expressive more sensitive uh more sort of emotionally available what will often happen is that he will drift into that and consider it masculinity it’s not it’s it it it’s basically giving a man access to his feminine side right without the grounded awareness that can hold it and I think that’s the key point right you need both the capacity to express and the capacity to hold to hold yourself to hold others and these are both nervous system train ings that good men’s work will include so what happens to a man when he integrates these parts of himself right he’s able to move and express from a deeper space within he’s able to move and express and feel feel the moment feel himself feel others from a deeper still place so rather than just be reactive to what’s happening in the moment he has a a grounded Infinite Source let’s call it to move from so he will move through the world from a place of depth and from a place of expanded conscious awareness that makes him like I said earlier more trustable right he is not just stoically present he’s able to move from that stoic presence into full expression and he’s able to do so while holding himself so the way that this works in a practice I’ll give you an example of this take it out of the esoteric and into the you know practical right so a way this might work let’s say you are let’s say you’re a man and you’re in a you know a little bit of conflict with your feminine partner right so what will often happen to men is that they will drift into the sensations that are happening in that conflict I’m I’m I’m angry I’m ashamed I’m scared uh you know I’m reactive right and and we will men will drift into that feminine aspect of themselves and lose ground right I’m guilty of it we’re all guilty of it it’s a lifelong practice right but what good Men’s Work trains you to do is to have those feelings to have those Sensations to be fully aware of those Sensations but to be Tethered to consciousness in that moment right and so when a man can do that rather than being reactive right and just having a knee-jerk reaction to criticism let’s say or to a complaint let’s say they are moving from a deeper place and so their responses are going to be different their capacity to listen is going to be different their capacity to to be aware of what’s going on in their partner is going to be different right their capacity to be aware of what’s going on in themselves to witness themselves in the moment and to witness another in the moment is going to be different and so this ability to stay connected to the infinite and unchanging source of Consciousness Within Me While there is chaos going around is the Pinnacle of masculine practice right so the best men’s work teaches men to do both teaches men to stay in this wide expanse of consciousness tethered right tethered and grounded while feeling everything to be able to rest in this Cosmos of Consciousness within all of us while feeling everything is the byproduct of great men’s work and it will change your life it will change the way you look at the world it will change the way you look at yourself it will change the way you relate to your romantic partner it will change how deep you can go sexually it will change literally your whole nervous system orientation to be able to be with life to be with you know life herself and never lose your Center never lose your um capacity to stay tethered in a moment and what will happen in those moments is you will be able to feel what’s going on but you’ll be Tethered to a source of wisdom that is consciousness and that source of wisdom will be a better director for you than your habitual childhood programming or reactivity and so the the great benefit of good men’s work is the capacity to tap into a source of wisdom that is immovable and unchangeable no matter what’s happening around you so here’s what I see happening uh in the men’s work space that I think will be really beneficial uh Men’s Work Program s are going to start to come up that that can take men through an initiatory process that can take men into deep therapeutic processes of clearing pain and anger from the body and they can also train men to develop that yogic and meditative capacity for embodied presence and Stillness and when those three things are you know in a good program when men will uh expand men will grow men will find parts of themselves that they probably never met that’s often something I see in my men’s programs is is that men will find parts of themselves that they had never met or they thought were long dead and so our capacity to train ourselves to continually lean into ego death to continually lean into um the fear of failing to continually lean into the edges of our life while staying tethered and present as consciousness and while feeling everything that is the end game of good men’s work so if you’re a man watching this and you want to get more deeply into men’s work you can you know basically just Google men’s work and you’ll see a lot of programs I do a program every year there are a number of other uh teachers that do men’s work every year so uh there are a number of places where you can find you know there’s a a dozen good teachers in the US and Europe that I think and good programs that I think take men through a a a really um beautiful swath of this but what I see happening more and more is that um men often confuse Warrior up and Primal screaming for actually doing the work that expands their masculine capacity and so as you search for these programs make sure that you’re getting all three of these elements that I that I talked about or if you’re not you might have to supplement it with another program but there absolutely needs to be some kind of Challenge and initiation in your life some kind of Challenge and initiation that you do there needs to be practice that that puts you in control of your own nervous system and there has to be a practice that expands Your Capacity to feel and express yourself fully if you’re inspired to get into some practices around this the embodied relationship experience platform that we have the link is below has a ton of men’s practices lots of breath work lots of meditation work some movement work um lots of work on how to express deep pain and Deep Emotions so that’s a great place for a man to start I’d also recommend some some books David’s the way the superior man is you fantastic start Robert blly um Iron John is a fantastic start I wrote a book called from the core that sort of incorporates a lot of the things that we’ve been talking about on this podcast there are a lot of good uh uh Men’s Work books and I think it’s important that if you get into it that you really understand the nature of what makes a um let’s consider this wholeness right so good men’s work should create wholeness in a man and that is not just the masculine it’s not just his feminine it’s a beautiful integration of both of those capacities so I hope this is giving you a uh a good intro into the different modalities of men’s work what they do for you what they can do for you what they should do for you in my opinion and uh and I hope that you know on your journey if you are a man watching this I hope that this helps to Spur you you know into a journey of seeking Brotherhood and seeking depth with other men because um men need it right men need other men who have done the work and are doing the work before them to be lighthouses to be beacons it’s no it’s no mystery that men are suffering so there is a way out I’ve seen it now for 20 some odd years there is a way out for men to find a place where they belong where they can find a place where they can be fully expressed where they find a place where they can be um challenged with love and where they find a place where they can uh drop into the deepest uh parts of themselves to their cores if you will but before we continue if you are watching this on YouTube please uh SM smash the like button uh subscribe leave a comment if you like let what do you think about the episode that really helps us get the uh content out to more people if you’re listening on Apple podcast please leave us a review let us know what you think same thing with Spotify so I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode and we’ll see you next time on the embodied relationship experience